Who am I? Why am I here?

So, when I was thinking about this assignment, I really asked myself, "Who am I?" and "Why am I here?". I thought I knew who I was until recently; but when my Dad died in May of this year, I kinda lost a bit of my identity. Things like "Why am I here?", "Where am I going?",  "Where did time go?, and, "What do I do?" come and go thru my mind very frequently. I sometimes wonder if I am doing the right thing by continuing to go back to school. So, when I looked at the picture of myself that was drawn of me, I had to make it into a question mark, because I really don't know who I am. The fist shaking, that signifies my frustration with life. The half of a blackened broken heart, That is what loneliness does. Though the small spot of white on it, signifies that there is still hope in my heart. I am sitting down on a chair, cause I always feel like I am being lazy, though I am working a full time job, and am 2/3 full time going to classes; That chair is running on a treadmill going nowhere. All these things are much like the large splinter in my mind. And the thumbs up? Well, you gotta keep a positive attitude. No matter how hard things are, no matter how confusing things may look, you gotta keep your head up.

Take Away #9

The movie, Off the Map, was an interesting one. I liked some of the story, and the characters were engaging, but the part that spoke to me the most, was the man who was the IRS agent, but became an artist. I can relate to this character, seeing as I really didn't discover that I was an artist until a couple of years ago. Watching him discover himself as an artist really spoke to me. I can remember how I started to look at things differently, and to look at everything the spoke to me. The scene where he just stands there looking at the horizon, was something I think every artist has done at one time or another. It may not be as long as it was depicted in the movie, but definitely for a long span of time. It also reminded me of why I chose art. It reminded me that it isn't just about the "assignments", but rather expressing what speaks to you. No fear, no self-judgement, just creating. It was a good reminder for me, that as long as I am creating, I'm doing stuff right.

Take Away #8

I've had my fair share of existantial inner monologues, where I think about who I am, what I am, where I am going, that kind of thing. I have to say last class was the first time I really thought about what exactly identity is. The exercise itself if itneresting, especially considering the world we live in today. What makes me, me? What makes you, you? Does the fact circles of people see me differently say that my identity isn't as concrete as I have been lead to believe? Is the concept of identity one of the most misrepresented concepts to most people? After much thought, this topic has me thinking in a way I wouldn't have considered otherwise. This next assignment is gonna be .... interseting, to say the least.

Bliss Assignment

So, I have finished my 3 hours of "Bliss" time, and now it is time it do the assignment concerning some serious thinking concerning my altered book project. The following is 5 concerns/fears/anxieties that I have been on my mind, and here they are:


1) Procrastination. I do it often, sometimes out of fear, other times out of obligations, and every now and then, I think my subconscious does it to see if I can do it under pressure.

2) Construction. I have to consider the construction of the book, and what materials I will need to make it happen.

3) Time. Not only am I attending classes, but I am holding down a full time job. So far, no problems; but that isn't guaranteed to stay that way.

4) Creativity. Will I be able to make a project that can engage/speak/provoke people? Do I actually have that kind of talent?

5) Fulfillment. After everything is said and done, will this process benefit my skill set, or will I not get anything positive out of the project?



These concerns are what I came up with, and led to these questions:


1) Will I get the project done on time?
   
2) Will I get the project done to my satisfaction?

3) Am I actually creative enough to make something worth looking at?


I know some of these my sound strange, even downright dumb; but these are thoughts I struggle with often while thinking of my altered book. Even if I don't find straight answers to these, maybe others might find comfort in that they are not alone thinking in the same way.

Extra Credit

So, since I can write about anything; I'll discuss the fact that I can write about anything. I had considered talking about a creative solution I had at my job, and how being a creative person in a technical field had actually served me well; but that was boring. Then I thought about talking about some ideas I've had concerning some story ideas; then I remembered that they aren't quite flushed out, and they need some work. And then I had considered talking about my fears going into content creation, and wondering if I'll be good enough to "Make it". In the end, I just thought I'd ramble about whatever had just poped into my head.

:)

The flavor of creativity

This has been a difficult assignment for me. I chose to display this in a visual style, and it was hard for me to get started. I had a lot of rules going thru my head, as to how to position things, if certain other things were being represented right, if I had done what was required.

Then I really took a step back.

I realized sometimes, you just have to trust yourself, and just go with whatever is speaking to you. To not let yourself get wrapped up in the rules so much that is strangles your expressiveness and creativity. 'Cause if you do that, what really is the point of doing anything in this field? Below is my drawing. The grays represent the metallic magnet I put in my mouth (after washing it of course). The Grays represent the non-taste it had, and the smoothness of the texture of it. The rest of the colors from the field trip was Blue for cold and wet, for it started to rain at one point. The orange was for the laughter I heard all around me from my fellow students as we went around the building. The green was for the grass and others plants that I saw, as it all seems so nicely manicured around campus. Lastly, pink for the smell of flowers, and certain perfumes I could pick up from the ladies in our large group. I know you might not be able to see it well in the accompanying photo, but most of the colors overlap one another, just as my senses were doing the same.

"Bible" dipping

So, I was considering what I wanted to do for our assignment that says, "More"; and I thought of a painting I seen in another class called "The Big N". The painting at first just looks like nothing, except a small mark at the top and bottom of the canvas, and then you see it. You see the big N. So when we were given the word "More", that was the first thing that popped into my mind, and that is what I came up with, MORE. I hope you like it.